Limiting beliefs which support controlling behavior
Let’s talk about control issues today. If you feel like you are unable to let go of control, I am sure you have good reasons for that. But at the bottom of it is always the need to feel safe and independent.
What are the side effects of trying to always be in control?
- overthinking and rumination
- additional stress and anxiety
- chronic fatigue and mood swings
- self-esteem issues
- missed opportunities and regrets
There are certain limiting beliefs which make you hold tight to controlling behavior. Let’s have a look at them.
⛔️ I can control myself and whatever is happening or going to happen in my life.
– Part of you will always doubt it and that is where anxiety is coming from, but the other part is desperately clinging to this illusion of control because how else would you protect yourself?
⛔️ If I reduce control over certain aspects of my life everything will fall apart.
– Does it ring a bell? This is another hypothesis which needs to be put on trial. If you don’t check it how can you be so sure?
⛔️ If I start letting go of control, something bad will happen and I will not be able to put myself together and be on top of things again.
Think of your own arguments which you can put forward to refute each of these limiting beliefs. They need to be strong enough to plant a seed of doubt that these beliefs are true. I will share my ways of discrediting them in my next post.
If you have other negative thoughts about letting go of control (especially related to your self-worth) – just write them down and try to prove them wrong. It will be your first step on the way to less control and more freedom and peace in your life.
Ⓒ Natalia Ladonycheva
Psychologist and CBT Therapist