How to defuse intrusive thoughts

Hi there, I hope things are going well with you at the moment. In my previous post First steps to fight pessimism I shared some ideas how you can shift your pessimistic mindset. Today I’d like to give you some helpful recommendations on how you can defuse your negative thoughts so they don’t influence your mood and decisions. The best way is to create a distance between you and your intrusive thoughts. You can do it by labeling them.
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Let’s say you have a thought, “He doesn’t love me anymore”. This is quite a disturbing idea, and as you trust it, it immediately triggers anxiety and other unpleasant feelings. One similar thought comes after another and then the whole train of negative thoughts starts affecting your emotional state and actions.
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If you don’t fight those ideas you will end up persuading yourself that they are true. For example, you might start remembering when your partner could act like his feelings towards you really changed. Because, you see the past through the glasses, “he does not love me anymore”, you will explain your partner’s actions in this context.
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Instead of mulling over the same thought “he doesn’t love me”, just label it this way: “I have a thought, that my partner doesn’t love me.” This will create a distance between you and this disturbing thought, and it no longer sounds like an ultimate truth. You realize it is just a thought, one of many. You may want to practice labeling your negative thoughts in the comments below and I will help you if need be.
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There is another way to defuse negative ideas. Every time similar annoying thoughts appear – just give them a funny name or say something like: “Oh, the old song started again” or “Oh, my story about not being loved, appreciated or recognized is back here.”
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These techniques are used for instant self-help. When you stop identifying yourself with your intrusive thoughts that is how you get control over them, so you don’t let them affect your feelings and behaviours.