Why do we get annoyed when other people show off?

Why do we get annoyed or angry, or start feeling upset and run down when other people show off and speak highly of themselves? There are 3 reasons why you might feel this way:

1) you start feeling inferior, like you need to compete with this person or at least take show-offs down to restore your self-worth;

2) your envy shows up when you see others have something you’d love to have but don’t pursue it because deep down you don’t believe you can get it;

3) part of you wants you to speak up more, to acknowledge and appreciate yourself in front of others. This part is called the shadow which you suppressed. It is the confident part of you.

We cannot control other people’s behavior but we can choose how to react to it. Well, there are certain things which can hurt or annoy us like offensive comments or ongoing show-offs or when people hop on their high horses. But if something that others say or do gets to you and affects your well-being then there is part of you which needs attention and healing.

If you’re overreacting or start feeling bad about yourself it is a sign you need to find a reason for that rather than ignoring it and blaming others. It is not so much what people do, it is our perception that affects us. The story we keep on telling ourselves about who we are, what others are like and what kind of the world we live in.

Ⓒ Natalia Ladonycheva
Psychologist and CBT Therapist