How to deal with hard times
You plan carefully for your life so nothing could go wrong. And still it does, right?
If you get angry it means you have demands like “nothing bad should be happening in my life” or “if I have a good plan life should fit in”. As long as you hold tight to these demands you will be affected by the unpredictable side of our life. If you feel disappointed and run down then you probably have high expectations of yourself. Are you a perfectionist who tries to control whatever comes your way? If you feel upset but you know there is a lesson for you to learn from every misfortune you go through.
If you support yourself and you know you can handle it, if you are grateful for whatever you already have in your life – you are on the right way! Keep on going😉
We cannot control whatever is coming. But there a way to become OK with it, to reduce anxiety and sooth ourselves.
✔️First, it is important to accept: bad things will happen, no matter how hard you try to avoid them. People will hurt you even if you are nice and kind. You will fail occasionally and it is ok, that is how we learn.
✔️Every coin has a flip side, right? We evolve through hardships and we realize how strong and resourceful we can be. Dark times come with a lesson for us to learn and a chance to create long awaited changes in our life.
✔️Acceptance takes courage, which you can obtain from building up resilience. Here is an exercise to boost your resilience. Make a list of all tough times you lived through and did not fall apart. All hard decisions you had to make, courageous things you have done so far!
So next time you start worry about future you can reassure yourself:
“I can cope. I did it before and I will figure it out this time”.
Ⓒ Natalia Ladonycheva
Psychologist and CBT Therapist