I was listening to a lecture the other day, delivered by Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, author of The Body Keeps the Score. One of his observations resonated deeply with me: “When you get traumatized, more trauma seems to be attracted to you.” This is so true! This reflects the profound impact trauma has on our bodies, our thinking, our memory, our experiences—on our entire lives. It’s not about a curse, as some might think, nor is […]
If you overreact to other people’s words or behaviors, if you keep on overthinking them, then it’s not the others, it’s a story in your head, you’re dealing with. You are triggered by the meaning you added to someone’s words or actions. And this extra meaning seems so true because it’s related to your core beliefs about yourself. It is the case if as a result of other people behaviors you start feeling: ⛔️ I’m no good […]
Why do we get annoyed or angry, or start feeling upset and run down when other people show off and speak highly of themselves? There are 3 reasons why you might feel this way: 1) you start feeling inferior, like you need to compete with this person or at least take show-offs down to restore your self-worth; 2) your envy shows up when you see others have something you’d love to have but don’t pursue it because […]
You plan carefully for your life so nothing could go wrong. And still it does, right? If you get angry it means you have demands like “nothing bad should be happening in my life” or “if I have a good plan life should fit in”. As long as you hold tight to these demands you will be affected by the unpredictable side of our life. If you feel disappointed and run down then you probably have high […]
Let’s talk about control issues today. If you feel like you are unable to let go of control, I am sure you have good reasons for that. But at the bottom of it is always the need to feel safe and independent. What are the side effects of trying to always be in control? overthinking and rumination additional stress and anxiety chronic fatigue and mood swings self-esteem issues missed opportunities and regrets There are certain limiting beliefs […]
We tend to overthink things if we believe that our safety, self-worth or reputation is at stake. It is hard to stop overthinking because we often feel it helps us to understand where we stand. In fact it just confuses us more. Overthinking and ruminating shake our confidence, question our worth, make us put things off and drain our energy. 3 steps to help you stop overthinking: 1) Learn to differentiate it from analyzing a situation which […]
What is overthinking? When you analyse every aspect and possible outcome of the particular situation trying to anticipate any threat that it might pose to you. So your mind gets fixated on negative side of the story because it wants you to be prepared to deal with any pitfalls or danger, whether real or perceived. But it only makes you feel more anxious or run down… How does overthinking sound? It often starts with “What if…” and […]
Like I mentioned in my last video, cognitive distortions are often irrational patterns of thinking, which are negatively biased and deeply embedded. That is why even if we are told that our thinking is distorted it still feels true. When we work with my clients on changing their habitual thinking patterns we start with recognizing them first. Let’s look at the examples of magnification. ⛔️ Just imagine if you have a magnifier and use it every time […]
Some people try to plan carefully for the future, to anticipate all possible problems and obstacles, and come up with solutions in advance, just in case. In order to protect themselves. Especially in these turbulent times. The more you are afraid that the future will not meet your expectations and life will make unwanted adjustments to your beautiful plan, the more you get stuck in the current situation, the greater the feeling of helplessness. And since your […]
Sometimes it’s necessary to stop running through life for a moment and wonder if that’s where you are heading. Are you moving towards your goals, or are you getting further and further away from them every day? If you used to believe that you don’t have goals and don’t know what you want, I would say the following: ⠀ ⇒ You definitely have goals, but you are not aware of them. Let’s work through this complicated matter […]
You already know from my previous posts that energy helps to reach our goals, it is the fuel for our will power and self-discipline. If you always feel tired and run down, you will struggle a lot to bring positive changes into your life. Moreover, at some point you might notice that it is fewer and fewer things you can handle, and they will start disappearing from your life. If you don’t have enough energy you will […]
Hi there, I hope things are going well with you at the moment. In my previous post First steps to fight pessimism I shared some ideas how you can shift your pessimistic mindset. Today I’d like to give you some helpful recommendations on how you can defuse your negative thoughts so they don’t influence your mood and decisions. The best way is to create a distance between you and your intrusive thoughts. You can do it by […]
Before you start reading this post, I advise you to have a look at my other post How do we lose our energy? Why do you feel tired all the time? Well, you might think that it is easier to get enough sleep and stop wasting energy than shift your pessimistic mindset. I suggest becoming a realist would be a good start! Let’s see how you can do it. Don’t be harsh on yourself expecting that you […]
You probably heard about chronic fatigue syndrome, when a person feels worn out both mentally and physically. There is no power within to overcome stress, no desire whatsoever to achieve goals, just a feeling of emptiness and exhaustion. And this condition persists even after a good rest. The main causes are considered to be the following: the presence of viruses in the body, chronic diseases, and inflammatory processes, a constant lack of sleep, and prolonged psychological and […]
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